A travel blog.
Okay, I don't know which is more strange: the fact that I was jamming to Christmas music in the shower, or the incident where I got water up my nose. How does that happen???
I swear, sometimes I wonder if I'm stuck with the mental capacity of a third grader.
Well, in the words of the infamous Cradle Robber McGee, "later on, we'll perspire, as we dream by the fire."
Merry Christmas and Cinco de Mayo.
In an attempt to locate the location...hmmm...flashbacks of Austin Powers...
Allow me to begin again.
In an attempt to locate an exact position of my travel destination this week, I referenced my "It's a Big Big World" Atlas measuring 16" wide, 23" tall, and other dimensions as well. The cleverly drawn snakes and cacti made for an amusing and colorful decor, but did not serve my interest in a detailed map of Mexico. However, glancing at the page containing the country of my roots, I stumbled upon...okay, maybe I didn't stumble at all, but instead simply noticed a collection of sticky notes posted around the Asian continent. Each post-it designed with the amusing label "a note from the voices in my head" introduce scrawlings of my notes on Middle Eastern politics. Smaller, fluorescent colored stickies mark particular countries with their respective notes. Iran in all its intolerance flaunts the label "doesn't recognize Taliban". Other notes explain how different War Lords of guerrilla groups wanted power over Afghanistan after the war with the USSR. The Taliban was one of these groups teaching Islamic beliefs to refugees in Pakistan.
The whole idea reaches a cultured, scholarly level I never thought I could ever attain. Curiously enough, I don't remember engaging in such political stimulation whatsoever. My memory serves as no evidence that I actually accomplished such an ambitious pursuit of knowledge. Fortunately, the chicken-scratch handwriting positively identifies as my own.
So if you happen to be flipping through my "It's a Big Big World" Atlas, feel free to satisfy your appetite for Middle Eastern history on the Asian page. And to clarify any confusion, the post-it reading "All Stans in the 80's were part of USSR" does not refer to a generation of males falling into socialism based on the misfortune of being poorly named, but to the countries Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan, Kazakhstan, Tajikistan, and Afghanistan...umm...I'm not sure about Pakistan. I'll leave that for those inspired to join the pursuit of knowledge.
Ironically, in the making of this entry, I should have been studying. Sometimes the pursuit to tell of the pursuit of knowledge can delay the actual pursuit...uh...did that make any sense?
In recent news, 21-year-old Cristina Castro violently forced 20-year-old Maure Rose Kennedy to update her Blog, despite painful affliction of the “Boring Syndrome”. Castro, not related to Fidel though equivalent in persuasiveness and brutality, had subjected Kennedy to hours of verbal abuse until Kennedy was left with no other option but succumb to her tormentor.
“She just kept attacking me with her hurtful words,” recalls Kennedy with a shudder. “She just couldn’t understand. I mean, I thought I was an interesting person, with at least mildly humorous thoughts to entertain the public. But ever since I got that damn Blog! Can I say damn? My brain has been void of all witty commentary!” At this point, Kennedy burst into tears.
If you or a loved one has been pressured to update your Blog, Xanga, or IM profile and need help, call 1-800-ICAN’TSEEMTOBEFUNNY or email Help@my_jokes_are_lame.com. Our team of professional counselors are ready 24/7 to help you recover from unnecessary harassment to be funny and clever. You’re either in a slump or you’re just not funny, but you shouldn’t be persecuted for it and you don’t have to take it.
SILK or Sisters In Love with Kahlig proudly authorized the official initiation of Maria Elise. Apparently, you have to actually MARRY Bryan Kahlig to become a member of this extremely exclusive fan club. Former president Marie Cassandra watched with bitter hatred, I mean, emotional admiration as Maria strutted white down the catwalk of love. Sorry Marie...you're one "a" short of the woman of his dreams...and you have an extra "e"... but if you replaced the "e" with an "a", changed the "M" to a "J", the "ar" to an "ennif", and simply add an "r"...well, then you're married to Brad Pitt, hottest man in the universe.
Congratulations Maria, the envy of every SILK member and lay member. Congratulations Bryan, for marrying a beautiful, strong woman. God bless Maria and Bryan and their precious union. May they have lots of babies. Which brings me to an interesting question...if we can't have Bryan, would Bryan's children be too young to date? Hmmmm....
Oh, and Tommy, you forgot to ask...512-799-6374 CALL ME!!!
Lo siento si no hablas espanol...ja, ja, ja...
For those of you who don't sprechen the espanole, the title loosely translates to The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. A beautiful quote from a beautiful movie. I watched it for the ump-teenth time...and cried...again. I just can't help it. And how can you go wrong with Ewan Mcgregor, Nirvana, midgets, tango dancing, and gelatin boobies. Not to mention truth, beauty, freedom, and most importantly love.
Ah, love. La belleza de la vida.
The smartest person I've ever met (not including my father) said the only thing I needed to remember in life was to always have love, spunk and a happy heart.