More than just the flavor of the week

Upon first glance, Cristina and my dad have little in common. Okay, I really never took the time to think about it- I guess they're both really patient. And they both enjoy a good, ice-cold MGD. After revealing this tidbit of information, my dad stops dead in his tracks on his way through the produce section of the grocery store, turns to me and says, "We're kindred spirits!"

If there was a state that allowed a person to marry a whole family, Cristina would have a ring for every finger on her left hand. It's sick how popular she is. You'd think she was our ticket to the "cool table" with all the attention we give her. We'd give you an award if such a tangible object validated membership into our family. Then again, it would end up in the mouse cage like my first place theater ribbons, resulting in literal shreds of evidence that I once had talent because my brother has a different way of "expressing his affection".

Since we can't trade Danny in for you, at least accept the offer of unending friendship (for your safety) at a distance from blood relation. If you ever feel like just another scoop, I'm telling you from the honesty of my heart, you're as good as chocolate in my family, and I hope you can appreciate the devout adoration of your existence from the Kennedy's.